Today is singles week. If you're single reblog...
dustclouds: i often confuse my gaydar with my overpowering pleasebegaydar
best-of-funny: loverstabbedaswordthroughmyheart: i-was-so-alone-and-iou-so-much: vangoghstars: sparkafterdark: glamour-parade: How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you I’m pretty much positive that’s why poetry was even invented in the first place. for the constellations of your skin to brush against the earth of mine i would swim the seas a...
*Mom hands me phone to answer*
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
An evening at the shep689 household...
Will: Tyler Posey is too hot. He should be exported.
Will: Exported. You know, like kicked out of Saudi Arabia for being too hot.
Me: Deported. You've been on YouTube way too long...
my-kala: verticurl: I don’t mind being alone, I just hate feeling alone The most accurate thing I’ve ever read
usbdongle: xeverdeen: im from the united states of AMERICA what do you MEAN THIS VIDEO IS NOT AVAILABLE IN MY COUNTRY #there’s another country? #how long has it been there